I was sitting in church this morning and they were singing, "I Can't Go Back". I stood there and stared at the words and was suddenly brought to tears. "Never going back. Never going back. I won't go back. I can't go back, to the way things used to be. Before Your presence came and changed me…I found joy, peace, grace and favor. I've been changed, healed, freed, delivered… All my chains, guilt, sins, forgiven. No more chains, no more guilt, my past is over…" I wonder how many people have gone on life changing missions trips, came home, lived in the hype for a week or so, then went right back to the way things "used to be". I would be lying if I said I wasn't one of those people. Unfortunately, it's easy to do so. You come home on this kind of "high". Your ready to take on your youth, your church, the world. You feed off that for a few weeks, then you drain it. That "high" is now buried under the stresses of everyday things like, work, home life, social events and the simple fact of getting back to "the norm". Of course, it's still in your heart. You are constantly working on new and exciting ways to fundraise and save money to get back, but you loose that… zeal? I am not shaming church here in any way what so ever. If anyone it's my fault. I lost my "zeal". I am constantly thinking about Africa and global missions, but I'm off that "fresh missions trip high" and I allowed myself to be distracted by life. Shame on me. In a world where we expect people to come to church. I should be the one bringing the church to the world. Instead, I sit comfortably in my pew. I listen to catchy music and an amazing message from my pastor in my beautiful stained glass church. Then, I go home. I go to work. I go to town. And not once, do I bring the church to the world around me. I contain it, I hold it in. I don't share it. Sure, I'm a nice person, I'll talk to anyone whose willing to listen. But, I am I doing here, what I do in Africa? The honest and hurtful answer is no. I don't. I caught myself thinking, "it's a free nation, if they truly wanted it, they could come find it." SHAME ON ME. Shame on me to think my only mission is to serve Africa. My first mission begins here on the home front. It is here my "skills" and "faith" and love for others is tested before I go back to the missions field.
It's time I start treating home as my mission field. I don't want to go back to the same old "patty cake christian" I was pre Africa. I HAVE to share that love and that joy with people here. God said take His gospel to the WORLD. It's time I realize that includes home too. So, here I am. Making a vow that yes, though I am called to Africa and I'm doing everything in my power to get back there, while I am "home" I will share Gods love with the same boldness I had in Africa. I don't want to be an only in Africa missionary. I want Gods love and His gospel to shine through me so that I can be a witness to those around me here. In the words of Sister Sully, "God has moved you forward. Don't go back to where you were when you were at home. You're on a new level now. You may not realize it, but God has pole vaulted you forward in His plan. You will help a lot of people because God will work through you. He will give you the words to say to people. Don't drop down to your old level, bring people to your new one." From now on I share my love for the people of Africa with the people here at home.
I am still praying about my next step in my missions journey. I know I will be going for a year though. Considering that is a long time and a lot of money to be invested I want to make double sure I am in Gods perfect will. And of course, you all will be the first to know. :)
I don't have all the churches I'm speaking at lined up just yet but there will be at least 5. I speak at Apostolic in North Little Rock on Sunday October 5th in the a.m. service. I'll let you know the rest soon.
I love you all.
Until next time,
Brandi Young
This was my view from my spot on the balcony at SIL. :)
