Troubles, Struggles, and Opened Eyes

         No one may care. No one may understand. But I feel like if I can share my struggles and things I've been fighting lately, it may be able to help someone else? Who knows. ;)

When preparing for a missions trip there are many "obstacles" that one may face. One may face financial struggles. Another fear. Someone could be fighting nightmares. Some health issues. Anxiety, panic attacks, maybe even underestimating yourself. I would be lying to you if I said none of these affected me. I would also be lying if I told you only a few have affected me. I have dealt with every single one of these issues, plus some while preparing for my missions trips. I would love to tell you I am perfectly ok and ready for Next Steps, but I too would be lying. But let me explain myself before you go thinking I'm crazy. ;) 

I believe that by dealing with every single one of these issues God is preparing me for a bigger purpose. By dealing with these health issues, I've learned to not be dependent on doctors, but by the Almighty Healer. By dealing with nightmares, I've come to realize that joy truly does come in the morning. By fighting anxiety, I've come to lean on God harder than I ever have before. By fighting fear, I have learned to place them all in Gods hands. And by underestimating myself, I have come to realize that I am a child of the King. I am "good enough". I am being prepared for a greater purpose and a life in missions. I am constantly fighting a battle that is growing me spiritually more than any teacher could ever teach me. I am staring fear in the face and saying "For God HAS NOT given me the spirit of "fear", but of POWER and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND." I am telling myself everyday, "Greater is He who is in me, than he that is in the World." God may not come when I may think I need Him, but He always right on time. 

Am I excited about Next Steps? Well OF COURSE! But I can be honest with you and tell you preparing for a missions trip is not all skittles and rainbows. God has pushed me to my absolute last straw. My mind has been tested harder than it ever has before. I fight nightmares and fear and anxiety. But let me tell you, I would rather fight these things everyday of my life than be out of the will of God. I believe He first prepares the mind. Because ya see, thats where satan has his power. If he can get in your head, he has you. Satan will convince you, you will fail. He will break you and make you so fearful you won't want to do Gods work. He will convince you that you have health issues, so much to the point you believe it and are fearful of it. I pray everyday, "God put a brick wall of protection around my mind! Cleanse my thoughts and help me to see Your will. Lord open my eyes to satan's trick so that I may protect myself against them." Missions isn't glitz or glamour. It is a constant battle in the spiritual realm, and you HAVE TO BE READY TO FIGHT. 

"God make me a warrior of Your word. Prepare me by whatever means necessary. God I have to be ready for the missions field. Help me everyday to find myself a place in your word and time for prayer. Thank you for how strong you have made me during preparing for Next Steps. Lord I am not there yet, so please continue to work on my heart and mind. I ask that you protect our Next Steps team. I pray for safe travels. Protect us and our missionaries while on the field. Be a hedge around our minds as we fight this spiritual warfare battle. I know you have a harvest waiting in Africa. Be with us as we go in Your name. Amen" :) 

23 days and counting. :)

Until next folks, thank you for reading. 

-Brandi