I guess my main reason to write this post is to explain to you all just how much a missions trip can change you. Brother Whittingham hit the nail on the head when he said, "The poorest of the poor in America, is rich in Africa." You wouldn't believe the poverty. I posted my pictures on facebook and you can see in them just how poor it is. But those pictures are only a small glimpse into the heart of Africa. Yah, you see the poverty and starving kids in the pictures, but until you see it with your very own eyes, you never truly understand. Brother Jury made a good point when he said, "we as americans feel the same hurt they do. but we have so many things to mask it with." thats so true. We as americans are so prideful. I am myself, I can admit that. We all hurt somewhere deep down, but we have our things like, iPhones, iPads, nice cars, big houses, designer clothes and bags to mask all this hurt. So it seems on the surface, we are doing just fine and dandy. And no one really ever sees the hurt. But the Africans, they have nothing. You can see the longing and hurt in their eyes. They are so hungry, not just for food, but just for anything more. More than the life they have. I am so humbled to have reached them with the gospel. Because God is the ONLY thing that can heal that hurt. They are so willingly and ready to learn anything. So its easy to teach to them about God and the bible. Once the ones that were filled with the Holy Ghost were filled, you could just see a release in their spirit. They were so happy. They just had unexplainable joy! They couldn't help but dance and cry before the Lord. And they didn't get a new car, they didn't get a new phone, or new clothes, they simply had experienced God's presence and that, that was enough. No new car, or new home, or purse or clothes could take the place of that feeling. They were just happy. Unexplainably happy. I want to get back to that place. To the place where God's presence is enough. To where I don't need my iPhone, my iPad, my Mac or my car, or my clothes or purses to make me feel "acceptable"....I want to go back to the time when God was truly ALL I needed. Because when God is ALL you have left, you find thats really all you need. He can and WILL supply your EVERY need. And this is what the Africans know and believe. So they don't worry about the latest gadgets or clothes. They are just content with the Lord, and the Lord alone. I want to know that place again. And I am working on it.
Going on this missions trip opened my eyes to so many things. Like just how lucky we truly are in America. I am so blessed and thankful to live in America. This truly is the home of the free. But Africa stole my heart, and its there tonight. My heart is with the people. Its with the kids. My heart is the Esso Village tonight and in Majengo KIA. My heart hurts because I am not there. I wish so badly that I could be there to see the fruits of our labors. And to rejoice with the people. I know the reports will come in from Brother and Sister Smoak. But I wish so badly I could be there to rejoice with them. But one of these days! OH! One of these days! I WILL be back in Africa. I don't know when, and God knows I don't know how, but I will be back.
Every since I got home, and I know this sounds crazy, but I've had a hard time shaking this feeling. Its a feeling of home sickness. I am home, and this will always be home, but this is how much I miss Africa. I know I was only there 11 days, and I know this sounds crazy. But this is how big my burden for that land is. I miss it more than I eve thought possible. Please pray that God will lead me and that I will have discernment to hear His voice above my own. And that in HIS time, not mine, I will go where He see's fit, and where He knows I will be best used. I know in my heart this place is Africa, But I want it to be the Lord's choosing. And please pray for my future in Global Missions. :)
Thank you to all who have kept up with my blog. I've heard from so many people who have. I am honored to have kept you up to date on all things Africa and myself. Every now and then I will update this. I want to keep y'all up to date with my goals, and plans. Thank you again everyone :)
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